Bonjour.

It hit me this morning why I enjoy the morning walk down the winding Sherman Hill road to work oh so much. It’s the nod.

You don’t get it on a bike, because of the wooosh speed. You don’t get it a car, because there’s the shades and the lip gloss applying in the mirror and the phone calls and the pop song you despise but can’t help but sing too. But, you do get it on a walk.

The nod is the slight, conscious movement of the head in recognition of another person. The nod comes from the man with thick glasses at the bus stop, the woman with a book bag waiting to cross the street and the dog-walking Grandma. It’s not the hey-girl nod from the bar or the shared look of mind reading between good friends. It’s a well-crafted head tilt of sophistication that acknowledges and appreciates. It says “Hey, you, have a nice day.” Or “You are on your way to grand things. Me too.”

The nod, if not well practiced, is followed with a hello or twitchy wave. But the right nod, says all of that with reverent silence. It transcends gender, social class, skin color and age. No names. It says you’re a person, I’m a person and we have absolutely no ties to one another, we may never see each other again, but for this moment, we are here, together, so go do something worthwhile today, smile at something nice and be beautiful in your own right.

The nod keeps you bus riding, book bag toting and and dog walking. It keeps you putting your heels in your bag and treading the longer route. That winding sidewalk — with grass sprouting between the pavement and a history of sidewalk chalk — is taking all of us somewhere, so we may as well nod each other along.

Dear real sister, sorority sisters and women around the world,

You are not a nerd and you are not ugly.

Something came starkly apparent amidst the click-clack of the heels as they took on Michigan Ave. in Chicago. The name is the American Model United Nations conference and the game is simulating the real United Nations.

As one girl took the microphone on the 6th Legal Committee, she spoke articulately about a resolution surrounding a trans-boundary issue prevention. She went to sit down and the whisper from another girl comments on the speakers lack of make-up.

Why, why, why do we do this? Stop and listen to any group of twenty-somethings and younger, and you’ll hear it.

“Sorry I didn’t wear make-up; I look ugly as crap.” “I’m such a nerd I actually read the book.” “Ugh, my glasses makes me look fat.” “I’m stupid and didn’t wear the right thing.”

We women have a terrible habit of downgrading ourselves in normal conversation. I noticed usually arises within the primary conversation between one another. It is perhaps to receive affirmation in return, or maybe just because we have conditioned ourselves and one another to say so. Men don’t do this (at least not in the presence of women) and lets look at the state of who’s in the large majority of economic, political and social-cultural power positions.

Granted, I feel 10xs more confident well-dressed and usually don’t enter the public without a film of beauty products splattered on. I definitely don’t mention nights spent in just reading PR textbooks for kicks.

A wise, older man once challenged me to sit in a public place and look beyond the first impression of the exterior. Teach yourself to do this more often than not, and you notice strangers have a kind voice, or passionate eyes or inclusive body language. People then become just that, people–not objects to scrutinize.

Girls, your eyes can shine just as bright regardless of a mascara swipe; your ideas are just valuable whether or not you’re wearing the “right thing.”

It doesn’t matter the speaker was lacking in the fashion department, she was beautiful by way of intelligence and confidence. Like anyone, she probably has her moments of insecurity, but she sure as heels didn’t sit down and call herself stupid. So, raise your placard and say something worthwhile, regardless of painted nails or hair out of place or spilled coffee on your shirt.

Frank Sinatra sang about it, the Yankees play for it and millions of people live for it. New York City. The heels took a much-needed extended getaway for exploring the city—a strange, yet addictive city full of life and lights. It was my first time to the city and therefore had an objective view on it all. People, in general, are a little more loud, a little more opinionated and a lot more confident. They speak their mind and mind their space.

The minute I stepped off the plane it was hard not to compare the city I had just come from to this all-consuming concrete playground. If Des Moines is looking to expand (not to NYC size by any means) there are perhaps some lessons to be learned from the Big Apple.

1. Venues to stay open later: A 24-hour coffee shop, (not IHOP) is highly recommended.
2. Ease of public transportation: the metro card crosses between the buses.
3. Fruit stands: So much easier to eat an apple than a candy bar.
4. Food trucks: there is nothing better/more terrible than a steaming hot pretzel or pizza at 2 a.m.
5. Walking: There’s simply less obese people in NY, because they walk everywhere.
6. Fashion: I know we can change the overall fashion of a Midwest city, but really, sweatpants are for home. Short skirts make no sense with the changing winds of fall and don’t walk in heels unless you can actually move. Hunter boots are in; UGG boots and shorts? Not an option.
7. Gym: Almost everyone has a pass to the gym. Use it!
8. Sidewalk cafes: A cup of coffee always tastes better when sitting, people-watching
9. Ethnic foods: Ethnic foods are good. Embrace them. It’s not American, but it’s usually healthier and more interesting.
10. Vegan/organic foods: Even the LaGuardia Airport had more options than the usual grocery store in Des Moines.
11. Judgment-free: Everywhere you turn in NY there’s a different language, style and culture. Hippies with hairy armpits, Hasidic Jewish persons in hats, taxi drivers with accents, street vendors with smiles, wealthy shoppers in Bloomingdales, all respected in their own right.
12. Passion: Outwardly seen with displays like Occupy Wall Street, people have ideas and passion. They set out to do something and do it.
13. Don’t settle: People may hold a job they want for a while to pay the bills, but are still searching for that next opportunity. If they’re 24 and don’t like the significant other, they move on. It’s not worth an early, unhappy marriage. It’s really the epitome of the gilded American Dream.
14. Less bragging: Certain people aren’t upheld as the pinnacle of social life, because everyone is doing something professionally and personally interesting.
15. Dancing venues: Not the kind of raunchy all-up-on-each other kind of dance clubs, but a classy, dance with your hair wild, no inhibitions, more so for yourself than the other gender, kind of dancing place.
16. Apps: NYC has some of the best mobile apps, like Urban Daddy and NYC Bus & Subway.
17. Street artists. Music, art and authors converge with the passing people to infuse a feeling of creativity just walking down the street. Embrace the man-playing guitar on the street. He’s doing exactly what you wish you could be doing, so drop him a coin or two.

This is not to say DSM should switch letters around to be NYC. Des Moines is it’s own sort of place. It has it’s own sort of people and ideas. There is less trash, less rats and less crime. There’s parks just as pretty as Central Park and artists just as creative. I would just like to see and help DSM exclude mediocrity and embrace the extraordinary.

Begin to walk up the carpeted stairs and you don’t know quite what to expect, but you can feel it. It starts with the thump, thump, thump. The deep beat of the bass followed by the soprano-singing crowd as the doors open above. Finally reach the top and feel that impending “good show.” The kind of show where the music is loud and lively, but not ear-bleeding. The kind where you can look at the crowd, nodding, bobbing, weaving and know that you are strangers, but oddly connected on the throbbing beat.

Val Air Ballroom captures this feeling and reverberates it with a nostalgic art-deco touch. Walk in to the large area and you can just image people waltzing, swinging to the bebop of a big band. Val Air was opened by Mr.  Tom Archer in 1939 (on what was then White Pole Road) to revitalize what was a never-happened WWI tire factory. The stage has seen the likes of Glenn Miller, Guy Lombardo, Bobby Vee, Lawrence Welk and personal favorite Louis Armstrong. The venue, originally an open-air venue until the 50′s, has been a Des Moines mainstay since. Because of the close to 3000 person capacity, Val Air pulls in swing fests, car shows and even Huckabee rolled in with Chuck Norris last election season. (Chuck Norris doesn’t stand on stage, the stage stands for Chuck Norris…)

Heels are recommended for all persons under 5′ 5″ at any show.  They help you see without looking awkward by jumping or annoying my sitting on someone’s shoulders, unless you feel confident (and rude) enough to throw some elbows to the front.

Note they do charge $5 to park in the lot, although street parking is obtainable.

I’ve only been there once for the summer’s Bright Eyes show, but already marking off Oct. 11th for instrumental rock group Explosions in the Sky hitting the stage with music duo, Wye Oak on October 11th.

Keep your eyes on the website for upcoming show announcements like Wilco and the Zombie Prom.

The city is just outside the gates. A bustling city full of one-way rushing traffic, corporate men in suits and shouts of school tours climbing on the giant downtown sculptures. But here, inside the tall green hedges and beneath the shade trees, an escape lies.

Right outside of Meredith Corporation is an clandestine world of glittering fountains, flowers and fluttering butterflies. The Better Homes and Gardens test garden is used for magazine photography, plant cultivation and design. But I use it as an escape. The juxtaposition of growing gardens against the sleek black concrete is urban art in itself.

A stone path winds visitors through a vivacious tour of color, smell and settings. If you’re like me and can pick out a sunflower, but wouldn’t know the first difference between to vine varieties, find one of the gardeners. The garden manager, usually spotted with a hat and gloves, is one of the most passionate growers I’ve ever met and willing to share her knowledge with those who seek it.

I stumbled across the garden after riding my bike past the enveloping hedges and on my way home from the library. This was it! The secret garden I had longed for as a child with an immense2 imagination. The book and iced coffee (I don’t remember how I successfully was biking with coffee) called for a stop. The gates were open and suddenly that fictitious inner Mary Lennox was alive again. The slight breeze and comfy patio made time transgress and I stayed until

“evicted” from my shady home.

Now, I feel spoiled. As a Meredith employee, (yes, this is a slightly biased post, but it’s a blog) we can hold meetings and lunches outside of public hours. (Note that the heels I wear to work often get caught in the stone paving. Gardens in general require bare feet.) However that hasn’t diluted that wonderful “escapist” feeling and now I have the opportunity to share this stay-cation spot with as many people as possible.

The garden is open to the public on Fridays from noon-2 pm in May through October. Makes for a great lunch date, people watching (garden groups in hats, wanderlusters and small children) or just a mind escape.

The lights dim and the countdown…5, 4, 3, 2, and the screen jumps to life. Suddenly you are hurtled (or transitioned nicely with a buffer of previews) to a different time, place and story. The plush seats allow you for 2.2 hours to forget the love, comedy and (hopefully not) tragedy that envelopes your own present. You have no control over the plot, only your reactionary emotions to laugh or cry or hold your neighbor’s hand or cover your eyes. Add that to the distinct sensory sensations. The aroma of hot-popped buttered popcorn, mixed with the clink of fizzy Coke cubes and then the brief blasts of light as the door to the story lets others in on the experience. Add a blast of nostalgia like the Varsity Theater and it will be hard to miss the next movie.

From the tiny ticket window to the inexpensive candy counter, the Varsity gives an ambiance of old.  Old as in a red carpet, pearls, flashing cameras, black Model Ts and silver film reel kind of classy.

Since Christmas Day of 1938, the Varsity has graced the edge of Drake University to add entertainment to the neighborhood. Back in the early age of film, theaters were so grandoise they were often called “picture places.” The Varsity, while still grand, is more of a singular picture place. One theater. two regular showtimes for one interesting independent/documentary/under-the-radar film. It’s a simple set-up from a simpler time. And it’s terribly refreshing. No XD or silly 3-D glasses.

Ironically the theater was staple toward the end of the  Great Depression, and with the economy as it stands today, movies shouldn’t clean out the purse. All tickets are under $7.50 with student/senior discounts. And of course, the movies are not the movies without that popcorn crunch or candy bag rustling. For the average $0.80-$2.00 prices you don’t have to feel guilty about asking the friend/date to snag a box of Sour Patch Kids.

So keep it local, because the Varsity is mixing the yesteryear with engaging initiatives.  The Varsity is present on social networks, has a brand-new projector and host movie showing for local groups.

So go by yourself, grab your socially-conscious friends for the next documentary, take a date (be sure to handhold under the always-obtrusive cup holders). Be sure to wear the appropriate heels to match the movie plot, (Midnight in Paris called for a pair of Louboutins I don’t have),  but don’t be afraid to kick them off and wiggle your toes free to the background music. If you hit the right time, you may find yourself amidst a perfectly private film showing, not knowing what time it is and not wanting to leave.

Do not be alarmed by the window scattered with the most random collection of non-essentials. There’s running shoes, well-read books, chairs, a vintage typewriter (of which I want badly), vinyl and a bit of dust.

Frank’s Place is a unique (and welcome) escape from the flashing lights and pulsing pop beats down the street. It’s  a common ground for good literature and real music.  The buzzing neon open sign is an open invitation to feel like a true Des Moines local.

Talk for just a moment with Frank Burnette and you’ll learn something new. No matter if it’s about some obscure book or a Brigitte Bardot film you’ve never seen (Frank will gasp), customers depart with a new found popular culture wisdom.

Whether or not the said patrons remember these artifacts of intrigue is usually debatable. Frank is a busy man and doesn’t hold “regular hours.” The minute you see that open door to an unconditioned wood-floor room, feel free to walk in. The Court Avenue shop is usually open after 11 p.m. seven days a week and Saturday mornings during the Downtown Farmer’s Market.

Like each of his products has some sort of background, Frank is a story. He is a longtime Des Moines-ian, Drake University Law School grad, Vaudeville Mews co-founder, criminal lawyer and 38 time viewer of Les Miserables. He’s run marathons, coached soccer, served in the U.S. Navy is a local theater producer.

(He’s currently working on the Des Moines Social Club‘s Slaughterhouse Five.) He will rise from his arm chair in the back of the shop (aka his living room) and greet you sometimes with drink in hand, grey hair in low ponytail and the shirt

is debatable on the temperature.

For such a small front room, there’s a lot of items to dig through. What not to breeze past:

1. Franklin Library Classics with 24k gold-edged pages. He has/had the whole collection.
2. The bookcase holding the books. Good finds and he’ll tell you the story of his friend who custom built it for him.
3. Brigitte Bardot shrine. No explanation other than bombshell attractiveness.
4. Anything with Bob Dylan on the cover.
5. The free bookmarks (for the book you hopefully purchased) made from bumper stickers he’s spotted. “When the president does it, that means it’s not illegal.” -Richard M. Nixon

It’s at Frank’s where the reasoning beauty of the with written and spoken word, not e-books or online shopping, becomes apparent. There is something personal…an intrinsic connection between shop owner and customer. It grows such that he remembers you (maybe not your name, but he will remember your heels) when you walk in that open door. It’s the interpersonal communication that makes him ask if you read the last book you purchased yet. And, that, despite obscure hours and working up the nerve to walk in the door… that is a connection worth making.

There is something about the full moon that has fascinated people since the beginning of humanity. There was the the Greek goddess, Selene, of the full moon, there is the typical werewolf myth (unfortunately romanticized by a certain tween series) and the man in the moon.

Chalk it up to beauty or break it down to the quintessential question of “why are we here in this wide universe?” but the moon is somehow magical. There is no better way to feel in connection with the natural rotation around this glowing sphere than floating about it’s reflection.

Gray’s Lake, the central oasis of Des Moines biking, beaching and rollerblading, invites everyone to “Moon Float” once a month, when the moon reaches that waxing/waning balance point. All non-gas boats are welcome for no charge and canoes, paddle boats and hydro bikes are available for rental for $5 per 30 minutes. Lights are offered free of charge so lake doesn’t turn in to bumper boats.

The versatility of the event means it can be as friendly or romantic as you make it. Hold hands with a lover or deep talk with an old friend. And, if the date goes poorly or the friend refuses to paddle, you can always rock the boat over in your favor.

When the time is up stick around to watch the lights bounce off the the gleaming lake. Pack a dessert picnic and take a walk across the technicolor bridge.

Disclaimer: don’t wear heels in a paddle boat. That’s just unecessary. Unless they’re Croc heels. Which are unnecessary anyways.

Get your floaties on for tonight and stick the upcoming dates–July 15, August 13 and September 12–on the schedule.

It’s the beat. The beat of the feet. The beat of the feet toe-tapping and jitter-jiving mixed with the saxophone scale runs and cymbal high-top. It’s the sound of swing.

One of the best kept free parties on downtown Des Moines 4th Street is the Swing Dance Social held in the 4th Street Theater, connected to Java Joes Coffehouse. Old-school dance crew, Step Into Swing, plays host every Thursday from 8 p.m. – 10:30 p.m. The dancers will knock your socks off with their fast feet and flexibility, but they will gladly give free lessons to anyone who asks, so that your Lindy Hop can attempt to look half as good.

Relinquish embarrassment at the door. By the time you’re surrounded by the jazz (sometimes live) and the vivacious energy vibrating about the room, it’s easy to jump right into the group dances like the Shim Sham and Happy Trails. Yes, you will emulate a horse and yes, you will be happy about it.

If you can convince the plus one or friends to put on their bowties and swinging skirts, it’s well worth the peer pressure. If you are lucky enough to have the unique friend that was once in the swing crew, make them your go-to partner.  If not, grab a shot of liquid courage in the form of an espresso shot and then grab a random partner. I do believe stranger-man in an ever stranger tie made the best random dance partner thus far.

One of the first rules of swing dance is don’t wear heels. They are cumbersome and limit you ability to kick

without flinging a shoe in your partners face. Wear comfy flats and don’t make the mistake of going barefoot; you will get splinters on the worn wood floor.

If anything Thursday Night Swing Dance Social (TNSS) is classy. Good people, good dancing, good music.  Jump back into a time where things were a bit more simple and the steps of the Charleston meant a night out on the town.

There is perhaps no better reason to get dressed up in Des Moines than an evening spent with the Symphony at the Civic Center of Greater Des Moines. Wear the highest of heels, biggest of bowties and glitter to the hilt (or just jeans if you really want). However, what’s beautiful about the rows upon rows of audience members despite difference is dress, they are all there for the same reason. To hear music. Good music. That good music was exalted with The Season Finale: Russian Spectacular as the symphonic season closed with (well-dressed) special guest, Ilya Yakushev.

With the ever-ebullient Joseph Giunta conducting, the symphony is not just a collection of melodious movements, but

a show. It’s a show of how the rhythm can infect all those associated. Even the  audience plays its part well as a collective instrument.

By the third number, after quickly consumed beverages at intermission and the lovely second intro, at least

three people in proximity can be spotted snoozing. As pieces such as Shostakovich’s Symphony No. 5 in D Minor transitions from Largo to Allegro non troppo, the instrument of the audience transitions. The eyes awaken, a little shuffling occurs, and the sea of heads be

gins to sway. Just slightly. No off-beat to disrupt the natural vivacity of the violins, just a conversation of notes and the nodding responses.

They symphony is, in fact, a fantastic venue to find yourself. You do not need to be a gold donator (although the symphony would greatly appreciate any donations), but really an appreciator of the beauty of melody.

Get tickets early for the 2011-2012 season, starting with highly-attended Yankee Doodle Pops concert on Friday, Jul. 1, beginning at 8:30 p.m.. Bring a blanket for the Iowa Capitol grounds and sink in to the sweet summer music.